Smile

Today was the day for making arrangements for Mom's funeral. My sisters, my brother, and I went to the funeral home and answered questions and made lists and brainstormed.

Then it was lunch at a Chinese buffet where, after the fortune cookies were cracked open and the fortunes read, we cracked up at one that was not like the others. Who writes these things?

Then to the attorney's office for attorney business. Papers shuffled, phone calls made. Look around the table, any questions? Nope, I'm good. Well then.

It was a cloudy, drizzly day. The sky was nearly dry, but still damp enough to wring out some drops that fell in bunches, before being hung back up. Driving from the attorney's, through the drizzle, music soaked the car's interior:

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds, in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile, through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and there'll be tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through"

Obviously, it wasn't all fun and games, but we managed to smile. Quite a bit, actually.

Mom

The cancer came back. Cancer is never nice when it comes back. In her final days, the Lord dealt gently with Mom. And for all my days, the Lord was good to me through her. For these two gifts I am thankful.

In one of my last visits with Mom, in between her bouts of drowsiness, I got her to tell me about movie stars she liked. In a sleepy voice she said she liked Peter Lawford and "his gang". Now, I am no expert on Peter Lawford and I didn't exactly remember him having a gang. I asked who his gang was, though I had an inkling. "Oh, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin . . . ." she trailed off.  That's what I thought. It was the Rat Pack. I think most people would have suggested that the Rat Pack was Sinatra's gang, not Lawford's. No matter. I told her that I saw "Ocean's Eleven" and she told me she liked that one. Then she mentioned that they made "Ocean's Twelve", but it wasn't as good.  She said the sequels are never as good.

I have picked up the notion that Mom kind of had a thing for the swarthy, Italian types with flashing eyes. She liked the aforementioned Lawford and she liked singer Tony Bennett. One of her favorite baseball players was Joe Torre. In fact, she kind of made a big deal out of giving me her Joe Torre card a while back.

There was one decidedly un-Italian, un-swarthy type that she had a thing for, and this thing lasted for over 49 years of marriage, before Dad passed in 1999. And why not, given his excellent taste in sweaters? This picture is from their first year of marriage, outside of their first house in Ozark, about 1950. Their car is a '41 Ford.

I think these two kids were very much in love in those days and they remained loving and gentle toward each other for as long as Dad lived.

Here's Tony for Mom, one more time. Farewell and Godspeed, Mom.

Birthday Bride

Today is my wife's birthday and, unfortunately, she is down with some fever-inducing bug. That is an un-Happy condition on your Birthday.

I have sung Kathy's praises on many occasions and she deserves it. She is most caring, most sensitive and most interested in others' well-being. I have often described how I am a better person for having known her, indeed, for having been married to her. But how does it happen?

She cares. Intensely. She is of the "Why settle?" school of thought whereas I'm more tempted to merely get by. When I am struggling over whether or not to eat the second hamburger, or whether or not to stay up late, she says, "Why struggle? Just do what's right." It's beautifully simple. Why struggle?

For this influence and for a thousand other sweet gifts she has given, I am most fortunate. I am so thankful for a marriage that is growing sweeter, deeper and more alive as time goes on. How is this possible?

It's not because of extra hamburger boy, I'll tell you that.

6-9-84

I want to say thanks to all the folks who made the 25th anniversary of my marriage to my lovely bride such a happy day.

Honorable recognition goes to a couple of folks. First, to my son-in-law's parents. Dale and Liane, who are potters in Hardy, Arkansas, made a beautiful pitcher which I surprised my wife with. It is engraved with our wedding date and is a lovely pale green color. There is a story behind giving my wife a pitcher. I won't go into all the details, but it would be enough to say that a pitcher is graceful and pours itself out for the good of others - like my bride!

Also receiving recognition is the Hall family, and more specifically, the multi-talented head of this tribe who, aside from his ability to have you in stitches within 15 seconds of greeting him, is apparently gifted at making little videos for mass consumption on You Tube. Thanks, Tim, for putting us on You Tube! By the way, he occasionally blogs here. Pressure's on, Tim. I have a vast audience of probably nearly 10 people.

To my daughter and aforementioned son-in-law, thanks for the cupcakes which spelled 'Happy 25th Anniversary'. I think we still have a 'p' and an 'h' and maybe one or two others left.

And to Pixar, thanks for making 'UP', which concluded our evening! It was a lot of fun!

Finally, to my lovely bride. You are, quite simply, the best. I wrote these words in the letter I gave you with the pitcher - It is a difficult thing to find words that give the right amount of beauty and weight to 25 years of marriage – and it’s all the more difficult for the grace, growth and depth we’ve been shown together - and without sounding arrogant, it's true. Twenty-five years is hard to quantify, but I will say this: It could not have happened without the Lord and I'm grateful that you and I both know that. And, it would not have been possible with anyone but you!

137. Very Thankful

Both my kids were born around Thanksgiving and this week we celebrated their birthdays. Our daughter's is the 25th and number one son has his on the 28th.

My lovely bride has written her thanksgiving for them both over at her blog, Everything Is Significant. I don't think I could say it any better than she does.

Sarah and Jacob, God favored your mother and me when He gave us you two. Speaking for myself, I don't deserve such goodness. I hope I haven't damaged you. I trust our Heavenly Father will make up for any lack in your earthly dad.

When I was a new Christian the Bible verse that was my favorite was Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." This verse says what to do first, what is of first import. I need to be reminded of what's first, what's important. So I commend this verse to you two kids and urge you to submit yourself to it's order of business. May as well commend it to my son-in-law as well, though he stubbornly refuses to have his birthday during this week.

I love you guys!