Dear Loud, Demanding Man

Dear Loud, Demanding Man,

Thanks for coming into my store today. You have shown me how far fallen I am as one of God's creatures. From your very first question, I immediately resisted treating you with respect and grace. Your mere presence provoked me. I want you to leave.

But by being here, Loud, Demanding Man, you cause me to see that I lack much that is required in a converted man. That I am not conforming to God's Word in my actions now breaks my heart. I know what I should do, yet I resist. When will I ever stand complete? Yes, I know. But for now, my prideful flesh, aroused by sin, refuses to treat another person rightly.

Loud, Demanding Man, I am ashamed. For my co-worker, who may not know Christ in a saving way, has regard for you. He is kind, pleasant, helpful, and deferential. I still want you to leave.

However, Loud, Demanding Man, I am not without hope and this is the only thing that cheers me now. Because I am sure that God, who began a good work in me "will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6) And, calling on Him, even now, there is strength, grace, and desire supplied that is sufficient for the task. Sufficient to love you in a Gospel way.

My prayer, Loud, Demanding Man, is that the next time you (or any of your tribe), and I should meet, that I would call on the One Who is sufficient and, for His sake, extend to you the kind of grace that has been given to me.

The promise of the strength that would come my way is nearly enough to cause me look forward to that opportunity.

Crosswalk Pride

I have found that pride is much more subtle, devious, insidious than I had previously thought.

I think we can all spot with ease the person who must always have the spotlight or who constantly talks of themselves in conversations. Not having these particular flaws (I don't think!) I could mistakenly conclude that pride is not a big problem for me.

Or perhaps we've learned to spot a sneakier form of pride. This is the pride that exhibits itself as humility, or maybe false humility. Saying, "Oh, I'm not good at this!" when you really are pretty good at it. Or telling us you don't deserve any credit for some act of service. Repeatedly. The object is to be noticed while saying one doesn't deserve or desire notice.

I have discovered in myself another form of pride. Let's call it Crosswalk Pride. I have discovered that I don't really like rules very much. I have cultivated the appearance of being compliant over the years, I think. I'm a good boy and I don't get into much trouble. But recently a string of events has revealed that my depraved heart rebels against the rules. I'm talking about perfectly good rules for safety or for accomplishing things personally.

The crosswalk is a good example. Frankly, I don't want to wait for the light to change to cross the street. And, as I think about it, it's not about impatience, though, that wouldn't really be a justification. What I like to do is go to the corner and then walk along the street until I spy an opening and then dash across. I'm in control that way. I don't have to stop. Again, I'm not in a hurry - I just don't want to be told I can't go now. You're not the boss of me!

What I'm learning is that waiting for, ye even submitting to, the light is good for my soul. I need rules, boundaries, fences for my protection. Protection from speeding cars and from my own depraved and proud heart. Left to myself, I wouldn't set the borders because, as the pretender to the throne of my world, I want to do as I please.

Waiting for the light at the crosswalk is one way I can practice submission and thereby chasten my rebel's heart.