I'm a Calvinist. I have been for a few years now. I didn't go looking for it, it found me. (What did you expect me to say?) I'm not militant about it - others hold different views - and there's room for that.
One of the things I have found in this system of belief is tremendous comfort and I point you to this article as an example - here's a snippet, parentheses mine:
"It (unconditional election) is good news because it means no
unbeliever is so bad that they can say in response to our gospel pleading, "I
can’t be elect; I am too evil. I have sinned too long and to deeply." God’s
election is not based on how much we do or don’t sin. It is not based on
anything we do or think or feel or choose. Therefore, the proper response to
that kind of despair is to say, "Who do you think you are to exalt your sin to
the level of God? Who do you think you are to wallow in your despair and make
your sinful will the sovereign of the universe, as if you could decide who is
elect and who is not by the quantity of your sinning?" No! You have no right and
no power to declare yourself beyond God’s election. He and he alone decides who
is elect. And he decides NOT on the basis of your sin or your righteousness, but
on the basis of his inscrutable will alone. You may not play God with your sin.
None of it proves you are not elect. Repent, therefore, and call on the name of
the Lord through Jesus Christ who has died for sinners. For he has said,
"Everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.’" To the despairing
soul who feels he has sinned himself out of the possibility of election,
unconditional election is good news."
The whole thing.
Frankly, knowing my heart as I do, had I been sovereign over my eternal soul, I'd have reason to despair. Thankfully, God is sovereign.