The Roman Numeral Game: Colts-Saints

The championship of the National Football League will be determined Sunday in a one-game playoff. Some people insist on calling this game the Super Bowl. They also number the Super Bowl games and I think they do this to keep track of them. For example, if I asked you who won Super Bowl XXII, you would immediately know the answer because they numbered it. In Roman numerals. What a great system. For the Romans.

This year's Super Bowl, the XLIVth one, pits the Indianapolis Colts against the New Orleans Saints. This is what we know for sure. We also know that the game will be made up of Running Plays. Or Passing Plays. And that is football. I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate football, what with it's wide variety of action. You know, a run OR a pass. The possibilities are two!

I pick the Colts. There will be many whose hearts will be with the Saints because they have been horrible for about 92 percent of the years of their existence and because Nawlins was about scrubbed off the face of the earth a few years ago when Nazi Bush built a huge hurricane in the shop at Camp David and launched it at New Orleans using the space shuttle. This is why we are in debt.

But, as compelling as that story may be, I don't think the Saints can stop Indy quarterback Peyton Manning. He is like a Terminator/RoboCop that fires footballs. He has a computer for a brain. He knows what you are doing right now. And he will not let you stop him from throwing footballs to other Horseshoe-Helmeted Athletes. He will win.

Unless the Saints do.