Friday Night Coffee Break

Have you noticed all the coffee shops? Well, sure you have! And, not only that, you have a thought about coffee. I know you do because, these days, it seems, no one is permitted to be coffee neutral.

Apparently, it’s important to choose sides and offerings such as “I like coffee”, “I love coffee!”, or “COFFEE!!!” are examples of opinion on one side. On the other side are declarations like, “I don’t care for coffee”, “I can’t STAND coffee”, and, an oldie but a goodie, “I don’t like coffee, but I like the way it smells”. The two sides generally do not come to blows, but declaring which group you identify with is expected in polite company.

Here at Central Standard I have weighed in on the issue before and, in the interest of full disclosure, I am pro-coffee, but I don’t really drink it. I drink frozen (or iced) mochas. (All the hard-core coffeeheads just guffawed.) Mochas are, essentially, chocolate milk with a little coffee added to tamp down the sweetness a bit. Edgy Chocolate Milk, you might say.

Well you can imagine my interest in an article I found called, “Iced Coffee? No Sweat”. As it turns out, it’s not about mochas at all, but coffee – specifically iced coffee. Interesting. The article touts the joys of iced coffee brewed cold, not hot, and goes on to explain how one can prepare it, and it really is easy. The author tells of learning about cold-brewed coffee from a man who, while on vacation in the Caribbean, refused to drink iced coffee brewed hot. It’s a fun story.

Also catching my eye was this item by Owen Strachan via Justin Taylor. Strachan skewers some of his evangelical/reformed brethren over their coffee pretensions. He describes his peers as “youngish, theologically oriented, book-loving, culturally plugged in, ironically inclined”.

He continues,

“What you find on many websites is some kind of description like this: “I love reformed theology, U2, anything by Steven Soderbergh, and a fresh cup of joe. . . Here’s the thing about this situation: there’s nothing ironic or unique about liking coffee. We all like coffee. Coffee is good. Made well, it’s really good. It’s kind of like saying you like bread. “Anything by Piper, Band of Horses, and Pepperidge Farm rocks my world.” Everyone likes bread. And everyone likes coffee."

He does not stop:

"So, reformed hipster/progressive/student/master-of-irony, next time you consider charting your particular coffee-related beverage of choice, next time you wear it as a distinctive identity marker, remember: everyone else likes coffee. Work harder on the goatee pattern, find another brand of undiscovered denim, dig even deeper in the alternative music shop to lay hands on the truly avant-garde musical act, because your love for coffee–it ain’t getting you there.”

Funny I think.