I Like Dogs. Really.

I was tooling around town the other day and saw a bumper sticker that read, "My Daschund Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student." I remember when these bumper stickers first appeared. It seems like a long time ago. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!

I'd like to visit with this daschund that is so smart. I'm sure he or she has many interesting opinions about the current political scene, what to do about energy, the war on terror, and why the recession is lingering. I'd like to know who the daschund voted for, if he could reach the table. And if he could read the ballot. And if he can make the mark on the ballot with the stylus using his little pads.

I'd like to know where the daschund is employed and how much he makes and what he contributes to the economy. Surely a dog smarter than an honor student has some gainful employment.

Does he follow sports? How 'bout those Cardinals, eh? And is Missouri going to be strong again this year? And will the Royals ever turn it around? A dog as smart as he is surely has some ideas here.

Oh, and I'd also like to ask him who's befouling the yard and leaving the smear marks on the windows in the car.

I'll bet it's not the honor student.


Bob Wingate said...


This is
The. Best. Thing. You've written so far.

"And if he can make the mark on the ballot with the stylus using his little pads."


"I'll bet it's not the honor student."

Two howls of laughter from me and my wife.

I Double-dog-dare you to top that one.

(Chuckling) his little pads.

Bob Wingate said...

Imagine if Mike gets his dream iterview...

Mike, "So, what do you think of the state of the economy?"

Smart Daschund: "Rough!"

Mike, "By the way, where should I install this solar panel?"

Smart Daschund: "Roof!"

(Okay, I'll shut up and go to bed now.)

Bob Wingate said...

Yes I know I'm pushing it with a third comment, but I saw something in an internet article today...

Yahoo! News has been running updates on the California wildfires all day. Serious stuff, and as I have family in that state, I want to know what's going on.

But...half way down the article earlier today, there was mention of a luxury resort hotel where they were making rooms available to people who had to evacuate.

"By midnight Friday, only two families took advantage of the offer but several others had called to inquire, said hotel spokeswoman Wendy Haase..."

"I talked to one mom and her child and a dog. They were pretty calm, all things considered," she said. "It's pretty late so everyone's just exhausted and wanted to get some sleep."

And a dog, huh?

Probably the dog said,

"Hey, no big deal, I've already buried all my belongings in the yard. It's these people who can't decide what to take, what to leave. They keep going back and forth, and now they're worn out. All I want to know is when we're taking a ride in the car?"

"Say...you got any treats there where you are?"

(Unfortunately the story's been updated enough that that quote has gone missing from the latest edit. Darn.)